#AskAwayFriday with Rabia

It’s Friday!


That means it’s time for #AskAwayFriday and today I’m swapping questions with Rabia from The Liebers.


#AskAwayFriday with Rabia

#AskAwayFriday is an opportunity for bloggers to swap 10 questions to get to know each other better and to share their deepest darkest secrets with their readers.

Not so much that last part, but you will know both Rabia and I way better after you finish our posts today. I’m answering the questions Rabia sent to me, so when you are done reading here please comment and then head over to visit Rabia and read her answers to my questions.

You should also check out the hosts of #AskAwayFriday, the ladies who graciously encourage each of us to dig deep and bare our souls for your entertainment.

Okay, again, not so much that last part. However, there are lots of tough questions asked and answered, the #AskAwayFriday posts definitely get you thinking


It looks like you’ve been blogging for a little over a year now. What made you start and what keeps you going?

As I mentioned yesterday, I am a thinker. My brain is always busy sorting and figuring and re-working things. I have caught myself standing at the sink doing dishes and physically reacting (grimacing, laughing, shaking my head – out loud and in real life) to situations, comments and conversations I’ve had years ago that for some reason I cannot let go of. I’ve tried to keep journals (I’m not consistent) and I can’t afford a therapist so a blog is born.

I do struggle with what to write some days. Not because I don’t have a list of ideas but because finding the voice, my voice, takes time. If I’m writing I want the voice I use to be honest (and funny and compelling.)

I continue because even though it’s hard, I am enjoying the challenge of writing regularly.

jan 20, 2014 project 365 soivebeenthinking.com

I re-live so many conversations from this night. And I laugh a lot when I do. And yes, I look crazy standing at the sink, laughing, all by myself.


What’s the oldest draft you have in your draft folder or the post you’ve thought about the longest but just haven’t written yet? Why haven’t you finished it?

Well, since my hard-drive crashed I have almost no drafts and the ones I do have are only a week or two old.

Of the ones I lost…the oldest is probably a post about driving. I think about writing it every time I drive any distance – to school, less than 3 miles away or to a soccer game 2 hours away. Driving is my freedom, my confidence, my frustration and my most significant irritation.

Because most drivers are such morons.

The post started when I was driving back from a doctor’s appointment an hour and 15 minutes away, I started thinking about writing what I was thinking as I drove. I laughed the whole drive because some of the drivers you encounter on the highway are so, so ridiculous.

I think I haven’t gone back and re-written (and finished) it because I’m probably going to sound like such a jerk. I am without-a-doubt one of the most aware drivers you will ever encounter – I am watching EVERYTHING going on around me. I am also one of the most vocal. And nothing coming out of my mouth is nice. At all.

I think the post would ultimately be hilarious but I’m not sure I’m ready to unleash that beast just yet.


In high school were you an athlete, nerd, band geek or on the artsy side?

I actually don’t relate to any of those things. I was a cheerleader at one time and I ran track another. I actually have a letter of recommendation from one of my favorite teachers mentioning my time playing soccer.

I never played soccer.

I was there. I had fun and friends but I don’t think I fit a label.

The day I turned 16 (more or less) I got a job and thus ended those real and imaginary extracurriculars.

I had a boyfriend a year older than me and my best friend dated his best friend. Some of my best memories are from those days.


You have tweens and a teen. What’s your favorite part about this age/stage?

The conversations. They are at a point where everything cannot be a lesson. We talk and I hear them and we laugh. And that’s enough.

I want with all my heart to tell them “be careful,” “watch out for,” “did you know…” but if I do that every time we talk they won’t enjoy talking to me.

So we talk a lot, usually in the car on the way to a game or practice or just before bed one-on-one.

I am able to speak openly with them and (so far) they still talk openly to me. Better than that…they still want to talk to me.

I love that.

Also – with boy/girl twins so close in age to my oldest son, each of them is a bit of a window into what is going on with their siblings.

I love that, too.


What traits would you say your kids get from you and which ones come from their dad?

Everything good they get from me. Everything bad from him.

Not. Even. Kidding.

Actually I wrote about some things they get from me here.

I would say they all have a serious hate of being late and they get that from their father. I’m always late. He never is.

Exposed Just Like Me


I’m not usually a drinker, but I’ve been trying to get away more and go out with friends. What drink would you recommend for a newbie?

Well, I need to get to know you a little better…

  • what do you want to drink? Wine, a mixed drink or a beer? Think about what you picture yourself holding
  • If it’s wine and you aren’t a drinker go for a riesling or pinot grigio, both white – one sweet the other light, both easy and available
  • if it’s a mixed drink – decide soda or juice? Strong or light? Simple or “fluffy”…so many decisions! For simplicity and general availability I would suggest vodka (pick one from the top shelf), cranberry and lime or a cosmo if you’d like a trusty, standard martini-type drink, both are simple to order, simple to make and you should be able to get one anywhere you go
  • if it’s beer go with a light(er) beer or a Belgian-style wheat beer – these are usually easy to drink and not bitter


What do you want to be remembered for?

Based on the above answer you might think “helping people around the world discover their favorite cocktail” but that’s not it.

I don’t really know.

I guess my fast answer is: being kind and generous, being funny.

And for taking great photos. I love taking photos.

twist from the diving board


Would you rather spend a day with your favorite musician or favorite author? Who would it be and what would you do?

My favorite musician but since I have a tough time narrowing that down I think today, for this scenario, I would choose Dave Matthews. We would hang out at the beach and I would have him play/sing all my favorite songs. That also means our beach day would last about a week, because I’d make him play every song.

Steph & Dave, #AskAwayFriday


Would you prefer to go 100 years into the future or 100 years into the past? What would you do there?

If I have to choose I’d go 100 years into the future. I have no desire to go backwards. 1914 would be hard to adjust to.

Although to be honest, I have no desire to go that far into the future either. I cannot even begin to imagine what the world will be like in 100 years.


Do you have a favorite charity or non-profit that you support? What is it and why do you support them?

Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in memory of a friend and Women for Women International because I watched a show on the women who are helped by this organization and I couldn’t believe the difference my small monthly donation could make. What is basically pocket change (on a daily basis) to me can mean so much in changing the quality of life for these women. They receive training and learn to become self-sufficient, it’s pretty remarkable.


That’s it for today. Thank you so much for stopping by and please go visit Rabia to find out her answers to my #AskAwayFriday questions and visit the hosts of #AskAwayFriday on their sites, below:

#AskAwayFriday Hosts

Tamara from Tamara Like Camera,
Tiffany from Mrs. Tee Love Life Laughter,
Christy from Uplifting Families,
Stacey from This Momma’s Ramblings
Amber from Bold Fit Mom


Have a great weekend and Happy Mother’s Day! If you are still looking for gift ideas…please check here for some REALLY last minute gift ideas that are thoughtful and you can still pull off in time for Sunday. Trust me.

Now I’d like to know…would you go 100 years forward or into the past, what is your standard cocktail and which would you have chosen…musician or author?



  1. Can you even imagine how fantastic it would be to make Dave Matthews play all of his songs for you? OMG, I would die. GREAT answer. That photograph is AMAZING! Love getting to know you better and seeing the awesome questions from Rabia! :)-Ashley

    • I found a picture of him on the beach but I felt a little weird photoshopping my face onto his wife’s body. Apparently I do have some limits. Plus she was barely clothed and I just didn’t want that image in anyone’s mind. No one needs to see anything like that.

  2. April Gunnarshaug Mirabito

    I love that I learn things about you every time I read these interviews!! Although I definitely wasn’t surprised about Dave Matthews and if that ever happened I would find a way to stalk the situation out of pure jealousy. I feel you’ll be remembered for all those qualities, but I also want you remembered for your fantastic photos and really really wish you would make a career out of it. You are THAT GOOD!!

    • The discussions we’ve had, it’s kind of hard to believe there would be anything left to surprise you. If that ever happens with Dave…I would totally invite you.

      And thank you.

  3. Please unleash the beast! I would love to read that post simply from the preview you just gave…LOL I am so NOT the aware Driver. I have had my Hubby pull-up right next to me…honking and waving and pulled off without ever knowing…LOL I’m in the zone…between music and kiddie chatter and trying to focus on well, driving, anything outside my car goes mostly unnoticed…LOL

  4. Not only have I heard of Dave Matthews, I like him. Surprise, surprise, considering most music you share I am clueless about. 🙂 I was cracking up reading your comments about driving, because I’ve been in the car with you and I know what comes out of your mouth. It may not be nice but it sure is funny!

    • Maybe I’ll have you record me on the way to Baltimore then I can quote it, although I’m pretty sure I can remember saying, “what a *(^^&*^&*ing $@$^bag”, it would help to remember more. Yeah, lets plan for that.

      And I’m glad I’ve hit some common ground on the music. If you weren’t familiar with Dave then we would have a problem.

  5. Number one, please finish that driving post! I promise, we’ll still like you!! Number two, let’s go out for a night of drinks and Dave Matthews! I like things that are fruity, but not too sweet. I don’t mind beer, but I am by no means an expert.
    I’m so glad we swapped this week!

  6. I’d love to spend the day with my favorite musician! Probably Jason Mraz, like all his songs make me happy even though it’s not a happy song, crazy I know! LOL

    I’m not a driver but I do notice a lot of absurd things some drivers do on the road. So in my case, maybe I can write a passenger post?

  7. Unleash that beast! People drive the way they walk – selfishly and cluelessly. Oblivious. Stupid.
    Let’s just say that people don’t THINK. And not even in front of their kitchen sinks!

  8. I love this so much Stephanie!! Your photographs are truly SPECTACULAR and I just love getting to know you better through this interview!!! I always say that I am the UGLIEST when I drive… I swear that evokes more rage than any other part of my life.

    I especially love that you still talk to your kids and they still trust and talk with you. That really speaks to your parenting… I so admire that!!

  9. I laughed just at you describing that driving post, so I totally think you should write it! 🙂 We have several traffic circles in our town, and my kids are used to me shouting, “If you are too stupid to figure out a traffic circle, then you are too stupid to drive!”
    Great pick with Dave Matthews! Love him!

  10. I really wish that I had some great photo skills. I really want to start taking better photos to share on my blog. I use my phone and well the photos don’t always come out that great.

  11. I could relate so much to so many of your responses. The driving thing for sure. Especially high school though. I blended in with everyone: freaks, geeks, jocks and junkies. Little bits of my personality would change with every group but my core value of being the funny guy never did. Still, I knew way before Seinfeld came along that “You do NOT let your worlds collide.

    Loved your answers!

  12. There is so much that I could relate to in this post, I love it!

    I also stand at the sink and have conversations from years ago and also ones that haven’t even occurred yet. I think it’s a side effect of introversion.

    While Dave Mathews was in Pittsburgh a year ago his car broke down and when a fan (on the way to his concert) pulled over, he jumped in her car. And they had a blast, apparently!

  13. “Helping people from around the world discover their favourite cocktail…” Brilliant. These are great questions. I’m with you on the driving front. You can also tell who doesn’t drive. They amble across the street with the pace of snails. So annoying. Yes – do unleash the beast – bring it to life!

  14. I have a horrible time at keeping up with a journal, myself…I do good for a couple of days and then nothing. Oh definitely finish the driving post! LOL! I can promise that I likely will agree completely! Conversations with tweens/teens are the absolute best! The things that come out of my kids’ mouths at 11,14, & 20 will have me rolling! Have a great week, Stephanie!

  15. Kathy Smith Fradenburgh

    Awwwww…….those are some of my favorite memories too!!!!! My daughter graduates next week and is so excited, and I keep telling her that high school will hold some of the best memories, but she doesn’t believe me!! We sure did have fun!!!!

    Are you going to Baltimore for lacrosse this summer? I saw you mentioned Baltimore?

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